Update

I’ve just realised it’s been nearly a year since I last posted anything on here! I guess that shows how all consuming it is when you’ve got two children and that’s when one’s at school! So lots has happened since I lasted posted Reuben starting school for one. I’ve also upped my hours at work a bit , although still only part time. And I think I can safely say there will be no more bambinos! Hats off to those with more than two! And single parents omg you all deserve medals! So this postcus going to be short but sweet! I am going to try to post a bit more now I feel like life might be getting a bit more under control! But let’s see! I’m still breastfeeding Eben he’s two next month, so I think I’m going to write a post about our breastfeeding journey so far and also I plan to try to gently wean him off once he’s two but I just don’t really know how I’m going to do it yet as I’m quite lazy and it’s really easy just to settle him with boob! I’m dreading the thought of bedtimes with out boob!

Sleep !

So I haven't blogged for a long time! That's motherhood for you! For about 6 months I have been some how surviving with little or no sleep! By little or no sleep I mean from 6 months Eben went from waking 1-2 times in the night for a breastfeed to sometimes every hour and no longer than 3 hours! It only really effected me as although we coslept it was because we coslept that I was able to comfort him straight away so he didn't cry and wake everyone else up ( Reuben also cosleeps with us!). I've put the waking so often down to teething as it coincided with his first tooth coming through, which is another reason why I didn't want to take him out of our bed as I wanted to be close to him so I could comfort him.  In the last week we have managed to turn the sleep situation around! I sort of knew the only way I was going to get Eben to sleep longer was to put him in his cot, in the back of my mind I thought I'm going to have to try the cry it out method (although as gently as I can). This thought has been running through my mind for about 4 months now but I haven't felt like Eben or myself have been ready. We did try putting him in his cot and lying with him until he fell asleep but he seemed to only sleep for about a maximum of an hour and a half and quite often I'd be so tired I'd fall asleep with him rather than sneaking out, which kind of defeated the object and meant I got a bad back! Eben turned 1 just over a week ago so we decided to take the plunge and try the cry it out technique. There are many interpretations of the cry it out method, what follows is what we felt comfortable with and what seems to have worked for us.

Night 1

We went upstairs into our bedroom and got him into his pyjamas and then he nursed for about 20 minutes, I used to always nurse him lying down then I could sneak off once he was asleep so we thought it was important to change this. Then I took him into his and Reuben's bedroom, which has a dim night light in and I sang 'hush little baby' and then lay him in his cot. He screamed straight away! I had expected it so I was prepared. I waited 5 minutes before I went into comfort him and I didn't take him out of his cot, I did two more 5 minute intervals and I noticed he seemed to cry more when I went in. So we waited 10 minutes, then of course he pooed so we had to start the whole process again! We noticed that his cries weren't a sad cry but more of an angry frustrated cry and about half an hour after the poo his cries eased off. They were more like little shouts every minute or so until he was finally asleep. Then of course I thought I'd have a little peek at him and he woke! Luckily he just did 2 little cries and fell back to sleep. He woke about an hour and a half later but he didn't cry just whinged for about 15 minutes, I didn't go in to him as it wasn't a cry and he wasn't upset and he fell back to sleep by himself after 15 minutes. Throughout the night I heard him wake about 4 times but again he just whinged and didn't cry, he got back to sleep within 10 minutes on each occasion. I felt like this was a mini success as although I didn't get any more sleep than usual I was in my bed and Eben had managed to get himself back to sleep. I also was surprised to find my boobs weren't totally engorged! Which I guess means that all those times Eben was feeding at night weren't really feeds but just for comfort. Eben woke at 6.20am he was only whinging and would probably have gone back to sleep but we have to get up for nursery and work at 7am so I got him and bought him into bed for a feed.

  

Night 2

We did the same as the previous night a 20 minute feed, then into his room, sang our song once and lay him in his cot. He screamed straight away again as he had the previous night but only for 10 minutes and he was asleep!! An hour later there was a one off whinge but I think it was in his sleep. Again I heard him whinge about 4 times through the night but no proper crying and mostly just singular cries so I think they were in  his sleep. He woke at 6.30am so I bought him into our bed for a feed.

Night 3

We carried on our routine and he was asleep after 10 minutes of whinging. He was a bit more unsettled this evening and seemed to do a little whinge every hour for about 5 minutes. He had a 10 minute whinge at about 11pm just as I was falling asleep but then he slept until 7.20! no waking up during the night!!

Night 4

We carried on our routine and this time although he cried when I put him in his cot he stopped before I left the room! He whinged at about 10pm but then we had a 7 hour stint with no waking! He whinged at about 5am and then woke up properly at about 6.30am.

Night 5

This night we deviated from the routine slightly as my dad and sister were over for the weekend and we went out for dinner. So we did the routine but later than the usual 7pm, it was about 8pm. He settled quickly but we were back to the waking about 4 times whinging in the night, although as before they didn't last long.

Night 6

Back to our proper bedtime and routine but Eben had a danger nap at about 5pm! This meant he was very distracted during the breastfeed and he took a bit longer to settle. He woke a few times during the night but just whinges.

Night 7

We continued our routine and he settled quickly. He woke a couple of times whinging and at midnight he cried enough that hubby went in to comfort him. He managed to get him to settle back to sleep after 5 minutes and then he slept through until 7am.

So I guess what I've learnt is to be consistent and to trust yourself to know when you should or shouldn't go in to resettle as I definitely noticed Eben got more upset when I went in to comfort him. I can totally see why some people don't like the cry it out method, I don't like it myself but I think sometimes there comes a point where you can't go on surviving with so little sleep and it's important for a mother to be rested and have energy to play during the day and not be guzzling down coffee and gorging on chocolate for energy! I think if Eben had properly cried I may not have been able to do it, we had decided to try for a week and if it didn't work go back to cosleeping and then try again in a few months time. We will definitely continue with what we are doing, I must admit I do miss having him sleep next to me but I am liking this increased amount of sleep and I'm looking forward to more of it!

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Teething / How I'm suviving with no sleep!!!

Ebens never been a particularly great sleeper but I had gotten used to his sleep routine of asleep by 730/8 then waking at 1ish or if I was lucky 3ish then 7ish. He's slept through the night once and of course that was a night Reubie decided to wake up twice! But OMG teething!! The first two weren't too bad, I think his front teeth must be coming through now though he won't really let me look but I think I can see one peeking through and he's showing all the telltale signs: hot red cheeks, runny bum,  rubbing his ears and generally being big clingy and off his food. And he's been so unsettled at night, which when I do an early shift on a Saturday and have to be at work for 7am is not good! Anyway for me I've found the best way to cope is when I put him to bed (we cosleep) I then stay in bed and watch tv. That way I can relax and settle him easily. I've also found the only way I get through the day is strong coffee and lots of chocolate! I've been eating brownies for breakfast I'm that hungry from both being woken up multiple times at night and from comfort feeding through the night! Reubie really didn't suffer with teething, not until his last molars came through when he was nearly 3, I wonder if that has anything to do with him being a late tether?! Reubie was a year when he got his first tooth and Eben was 7 months.
I've found nothing seems to help make Eben feel better other than cuddles and boobie but I have been giving him calpol before bed and Anbesol liquid on his gums. He's also worn an amber teething anklet more or less since birth, I'm not sure it's helped but I dare not take it off invade he gets worse!!

Toilet / Potty Training

I've tried a few times to potty/ toilet train Reubie from about the age of 2 and he's never really been interested. We've had the potty in the bathroom next to the toilet and we had managed to persuade him to sit on it a few times but he was never really got the hang of it. We tried new pants with dinosaurs and bribery but nothing worked. To be honest I suppose we never put that much effort in but it's hard to juggle work with potty training especially as you need to be consistent.  Reubies at nursery 2.5 days a week and at my mums one day then at home the rest of the week so it just felt like too much effort to try to ensure we were all on the same page. I did the usual thing of googling ideas and the main consensus was to wait until they were ready. Some people think when their child tells them they're having a wee or a poo that they're ready to train but in my experience this wasn't the case. Reubie told us when he was pooing from about 18 months and used to go into the hallway or somewhere out of sight when he was doing it but he definitely wasn't ready. When he reached 3.5 I decided we should try again this time we used pull ups. I know a lot of people hate pull ups as they say they're like nappies but I really didn't want to deal with accidents and a house smelling of wee! So we started with pull ups and some bribery! I told him if he used the toilet and had a dry pull up he could have a kinder egg! The first few days he used the toilet a few times but also his pull up! Gradually he peed in his pull up less and the toilet more over about a week. Then he started to say to me 'mummy I'm doing a wee wee in my pull up!' That's when I knew I had to bite the bullet and get him in pants! So we did and actually other than when he napped he hasn't had any accidents whilst at with me. I've since learnt my lesson and wake Reubie after 30 minutes just to check if he needs a wee. He had a couple of accidents at nursery but has really surprised me by taking to it so well. We are still using pull ups at night as he's definitely not ready for nighttime training yet but even when I put a pull up on him he still wakes me to take him to the toilet in the night, which is annoying but makes me proud! When he was in hospital over night we put him in pull ups just in case and we were a bit worried he might take a backwards step but he didn't, he still carried on using the toilet. So based on what worked for us, it is true that waiting until they're ready is easier for everyone, some bribery in the early days works as do pretty pants! And of course lots of praise. Also not telling off when they pee their pants but to just say never mind, as Reubie was quite upset after he had accidents. Reubie also likes using the toilet as it makes him feel grown up so we haven't used a potty at all, it also means not having to then train them to use a toilet. Oh and although some days he seems to need the toilet every 10 minutes, always take them!

Motherhood!

I've been back to work for just over a month now and OMG it's been an eventful month! Reuben caught chicken pox for the second time! Who knew you could get it twice?! The first time it was quite a mild case and he was around a year old. This time it was awful he was covered! It didn't do any favours for his ezcema either with all the scratching! Top tip for chicken pox is dilute lavender oil  in milk and pour it in the bath, it helps to soothe and heal the spots as it's antibacterial and anti inflammatory. The milk is supposed to help disperse the oil through the bath rather than it floating on top of the water and evaporating away. We thought Eben had got away with not catching them but lucky us 2.5 weeks later and he had them too. His were quite mild so knowing my luck he'll get them again! He did have one dodgy looking spot though that we had to get cream from the doctors for. We also decided it would be a good time to renovate, so the builders have been in and have knocked through the wall dividing our living and dining room. We have also been toilet training, which has been quite successful ( I'll write a separate post on his we've done it) and Ebens cut his first tooth ( my nipples definitely know it!). Then just to make the month even more eventful Reubie ended up in hospital after his breathing became very laboured. He had a cough for a couple of weeks more or less since the chicken pox, we thought he might have had some in his throat. It seemed to turn into a sort of habit so we thought he would stop eventually if we didn't pay it much attention. Then suddenly one night he didn't sleep well and in the morning woke up finding it difficult to breathe. His stomach and chest were going in and out really quite far and fast when he was breathing. So we took him to the out of hours service in the hospital ( of course this happened on a Saturday when no GP surgeries are open!) Our local hospital is very small and under staffed and underfunded so there we're just three nurses there and no doctors. They gave him oxygen and monitored the oxygen levels in his blood as well as his heart rate.  At the time his oxygen levels were at 90 when they should have been at least 96 ( I think this is a percentage?!) and his heart rate was high as well. They basically said that we'd have to go to the next nearest hospital and that it would be quicker for us to drive than for them to arrange an ambulance. Although they then said that if his breathing got worse that we should stop the car immediately and call an ambulance. So as you can imagine that was a scary 20 minute drive! Reubie did seem better in him self during the journey to the hospital but he was still using his stomach to help him breathe. Reubie was assessed again and they listened to his chest and said they could head a wheeze. His oxygen levels had improved a bit but they said they like to monitor him to see what was going on. We were told in was probably and infection, which is quite common for children to get, although I don't know anyone who this has happened to! They also said that a third of children who suffer with this infection that causes a wheeze and low oxygen levels go on to have asthma. Seeing as eczema and asthma often go hand in hand and it runs in our families I'm guessing Reubie probably will go on to have asthma. Basically it seems he had the same treatment as a child who has had an asthma attack would have. He was given an inhaler and he had to have 10 puffs from it 3 times in one hour to see if there was any improvement. It improved a bit so they said we could try 10 puffs every 2  hours. Then after an hour and he was also given some steroid tablets, which were crushed into a yoghurt! Yuck! There was a definite improvement but the doctors could still hear a wheeze and his breathing was still laboured. For us to be able to go home we needed for him to be able to last 4 hours between needing his inhaler. So we then realised he would have to be in over night. They also suspected that his oxygen levels would go down once he fell asleep so it would be best for him to be in hospital. My husband stayed in with him as I'd need to feed Eben through the night. As the doctors suspected his levels did drop back down to 90 % so he had to have an oxygen mask on for the night. Poor Reubie and hubby didn't get much sleep as it was very noisy. We were worried this would mean he may end up in for another night but they started the 2 hourly inhaler puffs at 8 and when a doctor finally did the rounds we were told he would be fine to go home. Reubie was given another dose of steroids and another dose to take home and have the following day as well as a wheeze plan to ease off the inhaler slowly. It's been a week and a half now and he still has a bit of a cough but luckily it hasn't happened again!

Arghhh my baby won't take a bottle!!

I mentioned in my previous post that I would be returning to work soon and that Eben wouldn't take a bottle. Well the Mam bottle we had most success with now he won't accept at all! So I've switched to a cup! I've decided to completely abandon bottles and as Eben is nearly 6 months I no longer have to worry about sterilising do that's another plus. I guess I should count my blessing that he loves booby so much it saves me time as I don't have to sterilise anything and I know he's getting nutrition especially designed just for him. And I do love the cuddles that come with breastfeeding. Also if I go straight to cups I don't have to try to wean off the bottle at a year! I still at the back of my mind think I would feel more at ease with him going to nursery taking a bottle but I suppose we will have to see what happens. I've googled lots of things relating to my situation such as 'my baby will only breastfeed but I have to return to work' and 'how to get my baby to take a bottle'  and generally it seems that some babies just don't do bottles. Someone also wrote that their baby would drink all morning and evening but wouldn't drink a drop all day at nursery but was happy and content. That gives me some hope as in the last couple of days that I've been giving my son a cup I have managed to get him to take an ounce or two but it does take a long time! What I have found that's worked is sitting him in his bouncy chair so he's lying back slightly and giving him cold milk straight from the fridge. I think the milk coming from a cup so it's completely unlike a breast and serving the milk cold again unlike breast milk has made him accept the cup as just something random and new to try. To start with I was basically pouring some in his mouth and he would drink it! He has now started sucking it but as it's free flowing so it does come out more quickly than he's used to so we've had a few splutters. He also likes holding the handles so I'm trying to make it a game. Next week he'll have his first settling in session, which lasts 2 hours I'll send a cup of milk with him and see if they have any more success!

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Returning to Work - End of Maternity Leave

It's getting closer and closer to my return to work date. And now I've finally sorted out with work what role I'll be returning to I'm feeling quite excited about it! I have worked for the company (a well known food on the go retailer) for 9 years! And for I think 5 of those years I have been a shop manager. I really love my shop and colleagues and the job it's self, I love the interaction with regular customers and feeling like a part of a community. I'm going to step down on my return to a senior sales role and only work 16 hours a week. I used to do 37 hours a week so I think it will seem quite strange going back and working so few. I'm hoping that less hours and less responsibility will mean life is less stressful. Our income will be significantly lower but hopefully our quality of life will be better! My boys will be a nursery for 2 days in the week and at my lovely mums for one day. So hopefully as I'm not working so many hours I'll have some time to myself after I've done my housewife duties! It's a bit sad but I'm actually looking forward to being able to give the house a good clean and tidy! At the moment I have to wait until Eben wakes from a nap and is happy so I can leave him on a play May to play whilst I wash up or put the washing on the line! I can't do anything whilst he sleeps as he feeds from me to sleep and then usually wakes if I move! - I really need to break this habit! I'm hoping that a new routine will emerge once I'm back at work that will enable a better nap routine and bedtime routine. I think my only worry about returning to work is Eben not taking a bottle! I've tried every bottle we've had most success with the Mam bottles but he's very inconsistent and usually drinks less than an ounce! Hopefully he'll take a bottle from one of the nursery nurses!

4 Month Sleep Recession!

I was hoping the 4 month sleep recession was a myth but it appears not! Ebens never been the greatest sleeper but not too bad usually 8-2/3 then 6 ish he's awake or 7 if I'm lucky! But more or less the night he turned 4 months he's been awful! Last night he woke about every hour and a half for a comfort/ feed! I guess I should could my blessings though, I have a beautiful baby boy, who doesn't cry when he wakes just fusses a bit and I'm luckily I'm breastfeeding as if I had to make a bottle every time he needed a feed I would definitely be a zombie! But we are cosleeping so it's easy to get him back to sleep just hold him a little closer and cuddle and feed him back to sleep! I must admit as tired as I am I know I need to treasure these nighttime cuddles as they wont last forever and we're not having anymore babies.

16 weeks! Baby, body, time!

So I haven't written a blog post in a long time! It turns out having two children is bloody hard work!! Eben is now 16.5 weeks old today and he just has his vaccinations today 🙁. So I think our main struggle is bedtime and the fact that Eben hates (hopefully hated bottles!). Bedtime wasn't too bad whilst it was dark but now the evening are getting lighter it's harder to get both my boys down to sleep. It's hard to have routine as well when some days Reubies at nursery or his Nannas or my hubby is playing football or band practising. When we're having a good night Eben is asleep by about 8.30 and so is Reubie in his bed, then at about 3am Eben wakes for a feed and Reubie comes in bed with us and there's four in a bed! On a bad night there's 4 in a bed at 8.30 and Eben decides he wants to feed hourly!
As I said earlier Eben has been refusing bottles. I was hoping to get him to have one as I had a night out about 2 weeks ago now and was going to be away from him for 8 hours. Well I went out and Eben wouldn't take a bottle and spent the night screaming! We had tried tommee tippee closer to nature (which he fed from for a few occasions at around 6 weeks when I was exhausted) but he refused them, he also refused Avent, cheapo ones from poundland (Reubie used to love the cheapo ones! They have a super soft teat!) and we tried one we found in homebargains that Ican't remember the name of, the tiny premise cow and gate ones designed for newborns and Mam. He sort of seemed to like the cow and gate bottles but not enough to have more than a quarter of a bottle and they only hold 2 ounces! After my night out I stopped trying for a while as I thought it didn't matter if he wouldn't take s bottle as I wouldn't be leaving him again. Then the other day I realised its only 10 weeks until I'm back to work! So yesterday I got out the Mam bottle and tried it again and to my surprise he drank 3 1/2 oz! So my top is have your baby not on you if possible and facing away, I have him on a bouncy chair. I definitely recommend Mam bottles you can sterilise them in the microwave so fab if your going away as uou won't have to lug a steriliser away with you! Tonight was nearly as successful as yesterday. I got hubby to try and Eben decided to scream! I took over and breastfed him until he was settled and then snuck the bottle in and it worked! He took 2oz with hubby some how tgrough all the crying and another 3 from me! And currently as I type he's back on the boob do I'm hoping he's fed well and may sleep for a longer stretch than usual tonight!
Now at 16.5weeks since giving birth in definitely getting out more, we go to baby massage every Monday and in a Tuesday when Reubie goes to my mums Eben and I often join them but we walk the 4 miles there! I'm trying to lose my last bit of baby weight and I'm not very good at not eating chocolate so I'm trying to walk more! I lost a stone just giving birth and another in the following 2 weeks but the last stone was proving impossible but slowly but surely is coming off I've got just over half a stone to lose, it's not really about the weight though I just want to be able to wear all of my nice clothes!

Lactation Boosting Flapjacks

I've been breastfeeding Eben but in the last week we've given him a formula feed at bedtime so that I get a bit of a break and so daddy can have some time with Eben. Although I'm not having that much of a break as I'm expressing so we can stop the formula and just give breast milk. At least when expressing I don't need to burp and then settle my breasts off to sleep after! So it allows me a few hours sleep early one in the night, which definitely helps me to function. Anyways I'm not really worried about my supply as my boy is growing rapidly before my eyes but if I could increase it so I can get a little supply stored in my freezer I'll be very happy! This led me to look online for ways to increase milk supply. I found that the main things to increase supply are drinking lots, eating oats, brewers yeast and linseeds (aka flaxseeds). I then found a recipe for lactation cookies and decided to try baking something of my own. So below is my recipe for lactation flapjacks. I've used the basic flapjack recipe of 125g of sugar and margarine and 250g of oats and 2 tablespoons of golden syrup and adapted it.

Ingredients

regular flapjacks on the left
 lactation flapjacks on the right

250grams of Porridge oats
1 teaspoon of Cinnamon
2 tablespoons of Brewers yeast
1 handful of Sunflower seeds
1 handful of Flaked almonds
50grams of ground Linseeds
125grams Sugar (any sugar soft brown is great but I just use regular caster sugar)
125grams Margarine (can use butter if you prefer)
2 tablespoons of Agave syrup (any syrup is fine ie: maple, golden etc)

Method

First preheat the oven to 180C. Grease and line your tin. Weigh out all the dry ingredients apart from the sugar into a bowl and combine. Weigh out the margarine, sugar and syrup into a sauce pan and gently melt together. Once melted add to the dry ingredients and thoroughly combine, it is quite a dry mixture if you prefer gooey flapjacks add more syrup. Once combined flatten into the greased and lined tray. To insure they don't crumble I then cover with clingfilm and really press down with my hands so there are no cracks and it's nice and flat. Then bake after removing the clingfilm, for about 15 minutes or until golden. When they are cooked remove from the tray straight away, I usually ensure I have excess greaseproof paper when I line my tray so I can gently lift the slab of flapjacks out. Then cut into pieces, I usually cut into 15 small pieces. Leave them to cool for a bit on the greaseproof and unseparated, once cooled lift the individually onto a wire rack to continue cooling. This ensures minimum breakage and crumbling.

As I said before this is just based on a simple flapjack recipe so you could add or take out whatever you like. Brewers yeast isn't the most pleasant tasting to you definatley want some spice to disguise it but you could use ginger instead of cinnamon or try adding more sugar.

What to buy a new mother

So my newest tiny human is nearly 6 weeks old and it's been the hardest work having 2 children! I take my hat off to single mums and families with more than 2, I really don't think I could cope with any more, 2 is definitely hard enough for me. Eben has been feeding constantly and only really settling to sleep on me, which is hard work. I've been using my sling a lot to get things done around the house and I'm trying to take him out in the pram so that he's not permenately attached to my boob. in the last couple of days I've managed to get him to sleep in his pram for a couple of hours at a time so I feel like hopefully this is a break through! Any how I thought I'd write a post about what gifts a new mum really wants! I know people love to buy clothes and toys for babies and I've loved all the gifts I've been given but the best gifts I have been given haven't really cost anything just time.

So if you know someone who is due to give birth soon by all means buy them something pretty and cute for the baby but also consider the following:

• A cooked dinner. Something like a cottage pie, a lasagne, basically something that can be reheated or frozen and ideally is large enough that there are leftovers! Having said that finding it hard to ever have my hands free I would even have been grateful for some sandwiches! They're easy to grab and eat when you only have one hand free whilst you're trying to feed a baby. Or order them a takeaway or buy some ready meals that can fill the fridge or freezer. Food will always be happily received.
• Offer to babysit. I don't mean the newborn as until the babies older it's unlike to settle easily without its mum and mum won't relax imagining her baby screaming! But if you can take away any older children it will give mum, dad and the new baby quite time to bond together. It also means a fuss can be made of the older children who probably feel a bit put out and would like some attention.
• Do their laundry. This is something that when you offer to do it will probably be declined. My lovely mother in law offered and we declined but luckily for us she was persistent and made us fill a bag for her to take away. So be persistent and keep asking I'm sure the new parents want to say yes but just don't want to put you out!
• When you visit be the host. Offer to make tea etc and if you're feeling especially lovely do a bit of washing up or whatever needs doing in the kitchen whilst you're in there!
• Look after the newborn at their home. As I said earlier mum and baby won't want to be far apart but there are things she may want to do without having a baby attached to her like have a bath or a nap. So offer to go over for a couple of hours so mum can have a break.

With all these suggestions keep asking and offering, and sometimes don't take no for an answer! I know I find it hard to ask or accept help but sometimes need it.

Surviving Post Partum Pain

So my gorgeous new tiny human Eben is now 3 1/2 weeks old and other than having a bloody annoying sore throat that won't go away I'm actually feeling like my normal self! But if someone had told me 'don't worry you will feel normal again' in the days after giving birth I wouldn't have believed them! I was in a lot of pain. Mu first being a premmie maybe made the pain less or it could have just been that survival having to get on with it thing that meant I didn't notice the pain? Any how this time I felt it! I had to have 2 stiches due to a second degree tear this time whereas last time I had a graze. Both are painful but the stitches being on the outside probably make them slightly more painful. When I posted ion instagram about the pain from stitches I got lots of helpful tips, so for those mummies suffering or for those who maybe giving birth soon try these!:

* Lavender and Tea Tree oil in the bath, first put the drops into a small glass of milk as this helps the oils to disperse in the bath rather than sit on the top and evaporate. I used about 5 drops of each.

* Try to bath twice a day and let yourself air dry down there, it's good for your stitches to be as dry as possible to heal. I know this is easier said than done with post partum bleeding but if after your bath you can lie down on a towel on your bed for just 15 minutes it will help.

*Take painkillers, Paracetamol and Ibruprofen are fine to take and both together if needed. Just remember when you take them, I suggest writing it down as my brain definitely turned to mush for a few days and they work best when taken continuously.

* You could try using Sudocrem or another barrier cream such as Weleda Calandula Nappy Change Cream (which you could then use for your baby when you no longer need it). it maybe better to wait until the post partum bleeding stops or eases off. if you're feeling constipated it may also be soothing for your bottom!
Weleda Nappy Cream
Sudocrem

* I was also recommended Arnica tablets, which help with the bruising down there.

* Going for a number 2 definitely helps ease the pressure down there and the first time you go can be scary! Until I went for a number 2 which was actually quite soon after giving birth I felt a lot of painful pressure in my bum! It felt almost like I had given birth from my bottom! As soon as I went that pressure/ pain did ease. If the constipation is bad you can take a laxative but check with your midwife/ doctor or pharmacist first as you don't want to take anything that may effect your baby through your breast milk.

* I didn't try this myself but another recommendation was putting your maternity or sanitary pads in the freezer as the cooling effect helps to soothe.

* Some hospitals provide rubber rings to sit on, so you don't have to put any pressure on your stitches. Mine didn't but I've been told you can also get them from your local NCP centre. I found I was ok once I was sitting it was just the moving around and changing of positions that hurt.

* For the backache and the afterpains (which get worse with each subsequent child) I used feminine heat pads as well as painkillers.

I think that is everything I can think of! Please comment below if you have any tips to share. And remember the pain won't last forever. I would say after one week there was significant improvement but I won't lie that week was awful being so tired and in so much pain all I wanted to do was sleep but I had next to no sleep due to breastfeeding. I can see how for some the pain and tiredness can be too much and bottle feeding means that they can rest and their partners can help with the feeding. I'm really glad I stuck it out though as there are so many benefits to breast feeding.

Here are some photos taken in the last few weeks, looking at your baby always makes the pain more bearable! follow me and my boys on instagram here

He's here! - My birth story and the following weeks

Our new addition baby Eben made his appearance on Thursday 11th February at 5.25am weighing in at a healthy 7lbs 6oz. I was 39 weeks and 1 day and I didn't have any signs leading up to the labour. I had been looking out for signs such as loss of appetite, diarrhoea, Braxton hicks, lose of mucus plug but I had none of those! I had an appointment with my midwife the previous day and we put a plan in place for me to have a stretch and sweep for the following week. Maybe it was finally having the end in sight and me being able to relax that led me to going into labour. Anyway I went to bed as usual but Reubie my 3 year old was in bed with us as he was ill with hand, foot and mouth. At about 1am he woke up not feeling well and at 1.50 I went to the loo thinking I needed a number 2 but instead my waters broke on the toilet! it wasn't a massive gush but I knew it was definitely my waters. I hadn't had any contractions but rang the maternity hospital anyway and we arranged for me to go in at 8am unless I started having regular painful contractions. As soon as I got off the phone the contractions started and were 5 minutes apart and reasonably painful. After half an hour we decided we better go into hospital so my husband rang his mum to get her to look after Reubie and then rang up the maternity hospital to let them know we were on our way in. We got to hospital at around 3am the contractions were more painful but I was worried I might be in labour for ages so didn't want to take pain relief too soon. After about half an hour I definitely needed the gas and air. Last time I had two lots of pethidine and diamorphine before I had gas and air but I decided against any this time as they made me feel quite sick and out of it last time. Before I had the gas and air the midwife examined me and said I was about 5cm dilated. I felt a bit disappointed I wasn't more dilated but the midwife reassured me that second births can happen much quicker. Dilation of a firstborn can take up to an hour per centimetre, luckily for me I only had about 2 hours more to go not 5 hours. The contractions were becoming closer and closer and there soon was barely a seconds break between each one. Finally it was time to push my midwife was lovely and really encouraging, she told me she could see his hair and it wouldn't be long only a few more pushes. it was painful but that relief once the head is out is indescribable, one more long hard push and out  he came! He had his hand by his face and the cord was wrapped around his head and hand twice, so it was lucky his hand was there. I had a lovely cuddle whilst delivering the placenta. Then I was examined and had a second degree tear so I had to have 2 stitches, I was given the option of an injection down there to numb the pain or more gas and air. I opted for gas and air, the pain was bearable. Then it was all over! Daddy got a cuddle whilst I went to have a bath. Then we moved down to the ward for breakfast. It all happened so fast it was so strange to think that 6 hours before Eben was in my belly!
I had forgotten about the after pains was soon  reminded of them, apparently they get worse with each child, luckily this is our last! I honesty think I would have preferred to give birth again than have the after pains and the pain of the stitches! The after pains lasted about 4 days and the pain from the stitches eased after about 1 week. Now that its been 2 1/2 weeks the pain from stitches has completely gone. If I didn't have a bloody annoying sore throat and cough I think I would actually feel my normal self, even if sleep has been lacking a bit!

38 weeks/ false labour

So I made it past 37 weeks!!! Yippee! I'm so happy that this little boy has made it to full term! I'm now 38 weeks and 2 days!! I have definitely had a few signs that have made me think birthday might be soon but I also know that you can have a million signs that labour is immanent but can still go weeks pasts your due date! the first hint I had that I thought labour was on it's way was some consistent contractions. They started at 7pm on Sunday night when I was 36 weeks and 4 days and were about 7 minutes apart. I've suffered with a lot of Braxton hicks this pregnancy and usually I go to bed and the stop so I thought the same would happen this time but no! they got closer together, every 5 minutes and seemed to be lasting longer. By 4 am I started to worry that even though they weren't painful that they might turn painful and then we'd have to travel to the hospital in rush hour traffic. So we rang the hospital up and they said to come in and they'd take a look at me. Luckily my mother in law doesn't live far and has been on call for us since 31 weeks! She very kindly came to look after Reuben and take him to nursery in the morning. I got to hospital and they checked my cervix, which they said looked about 1cm dilated but they also said that as I had given birth before that could just be how my cervix is. I then had all the usual blood pressure taken, temperature and I was put on a monitor to check my contractions. They were every 5 minutes as I had thought but there wasn't really anything they could do but monitor me and wait to see if anything happened. It was a long boring day of sitting around the contractions eased to around 8 minutes apart a couple of times only to return to 5 minutes apart an hour later. I felt like nothing was happening so asked if they could check to see if my cervix had changed or not, I figured if it hadn't there wasn't much point in sitting in hospital. I thought it was strange that they hadn't suggested that they take a look earlier. Anyway they looked and said 1-2 cm so basically no change. So we went home. The contractions carried on the rest of the evening but hen suddenly disappeared as soon as I went to bed!! The same thing happened again the Friday after when I was 37 weeks and 2 days but this time I didn't bother going into hospital and after about 12 hours of regular contractions they stopped again when I went to bed.
Since then I've had a few occasions where my back has had period like pains and my pubic bone has been really painful but otherwise I seem to have had less Braxton hicks! I'm starting to feel like maybe he's going to go past his due date! We shall see, I am starting to feel uncomfortable but I'm so relieved that I won't be having a premature labour that I don't mind the wait, oh I'm just so excited to meet him!!
On another note, I have found myself nesting but I'm the sort of person that permanently nests! I've also found myself buying lots of clothes online that I can wear after I've given birth! I think I've ought about 10 dresses in the last week!! I wonder if it's a subconscious way of me thinking about getting my pre pregnancy figure back?

Breastfeeding Rant!

I feel like everyday there's a post on facebook by one of the many parenting/motherhood type pages I follow talking about breastfeeding and usually in what I see to be a negative light. I'm sure you've seen the video (which admits to being a set up) where a breastfeeding mum is feeding her child on the tube when a man sitting a few seats down tells her to stop and that he doesn't want to see it. I think the aim of the group who set it up is to see how the public react to this situation. The public react in a good way defending the mum but I can't help but think that this video may put off mothers to be who are planning on breastfeeding. Yes it shows that people will generally back up the mum but a nervous or shy mother to be may think they will get this every time the feed in public. They maybe dreading the confrontation that might occur when they want to feed in public. Today there was a post by a lady who struggled to breastfeed talking to other mothers who struggled, the outcome in the end was they all continued to breastfeed and it was all ok. I understand that for someone struggling watching the video may help them to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it may also make people feel that everyone struggles. There was no balance in the video to show that for some it can be easy.
Because of all these posts I keep seeing about how hard breastfeeding is and how confrontational it can be to feed in public I would like to share my experiences. My son was born premature at 31 weeks and 3 days gestation, breastfeeding would be hard to establish quickly as he was in hospital and I was at home. I pumped every 3 hours as was advised by the midwives and nurses to ensure I had a good supply that could be fed to him when I wasn't there. He was fed to start with by tube but after a few days they fed him with a cup rather than bottle so he didn't get used to the feel of a bottle. I also did a lot of kangaroo care and we attempted a breastfeed at every feed before he had my milk from a cup. It was tiring having to pump around the clock but not painful and my supply was very healthy. I ended up filling the hospitals freezer, ours and my mother in laws with my milk! The only time I felt a bit uncomfortable was if I didn't pump often enough and was really full, then I would just express a little into a sink until I could pump! After about 3 weeks I was able to go into transitional care to establish breastfeeding before he would be allowed home. We were in for about 10 days, he had to be consistently gaining weight whilst breastfeeding. It felt like a long time but really 10 days is brilliant. When we got home I continued to breastfeed until about 5 months when I got paranoid about how much he was getting. Something I imagine most mothers of premmies feel. So I thought give him a bottle of expressed breast milk for a few days just to see what he was getting, then of course he wouldn't go back to breastfeeding!
Whilst I was breastfeeding I didn't have any negative experiences, whilst feeding in public. I had no stares, no whispers, no frowns and no comments from anyone. I suppose maybe I could have had some looks but didn't notice them?! I did have some positive experiences I found a lot of local coffee shops would come and wait on me rather than letting me come to the counter and they always asked if I wanted any water. One owner of a café said to come back anytime I needed to feed and I could just sit and didn't need to buy anything.
What I'm trying to say with this post is that although some mothers can struggle and it maybe too painful to breastfeed for others it can be very easy. If you're a first time mum and the thought of how painful breastfeeding might be scares you, It might not be painful. Or maybe you're worried about how the public will react, you might be surprised! Give it a go! If it's too painful you can stop, there is no shame in bottle feeding but you won't know unless you try. And as for any negative public reaction, I've always had some lines ready to use in case: 'it's the law that I can breastfeed anywhere' is what I would say and then ignore them, I don't imagine anyone would say anything in response but if they did I would tell them to take it up with the manager of the venue I was at, as they would have to support me as it is the law. As I said though I have never had any negativity or confrontation, mothers to be thinking of breastfeeding give it a go you might like it!

Some helpful links!:
https://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/feeding
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-positioning-attachment.aspx
https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/
http://www.breastfeedingsupporters.org.uk/

4 weeks until due date!!!

So since my last blog post I have had my last scan at 34 weeks. It was an extra growth scan due to my previous premature labour. Although as I've said before I'm not sure that I need the extra growth scans seeing as my sons size was never an issue! Any how it was lovely to see Boy again and to know that everything looked ok. They said he was measuring perfectly average for gestation, which would have been about 5lbs, so that was great. I had a midwife appointment later that day as well and when she measured my bump it measured 3 weeks ahead! 37 weeks instead of 34! And as I've heard that scans can be up to a lb out I cant help but wonder if Boy is going to be a big baby like his brother! I know measuring a bump isn't the most accurate either, but I cant help thinking he's going to be big! I'm not actually worried about the birth at all, even though this baby will be much bigger than Reubie who was only 3lbs15. I'm also quite laid back about my birth plan. I'm not really sure they're worth having, I think it would be disappointing if you set your mind on a water birth and then were unable to have one. My plan if you can call it a plan is to have pain relief if I feel I need it and to give birth in my local maternity hospital. I don't want an epidural the thought of that needle freaks me out! And I'm really not afraid of needles usually. Epidurals aren't available at the maternity hospital anyway. I don't like the thought of a water birth but if its suggested by the midwife and I feel like it at the time maybe I will! I haven't really thought of positions as I think that's something you can only decide at the time. With Reubie I had been in hospital and having contractions for 2 days before I was in active labour so I was so tired there was no way I could do anything but lie down. I remember close to the end of labour the midwives asking me to sit up more as the gravity would help and I said 'I can't you'll have to drag me up!' which they did! I hope this time around I won't be so tired and I can try some different positions which may help me to have a faster and more comfortable labour.
Just one more week and I will have reached full term, I really never thought I would make it this far!!

Nearly Full term!

This pregnancy is zooming by I can't believe I'll be 34 weeks in 2 days time! I also can't believe that this time last pregnancy Reubie was born! I've never been more pregnant than I am now and I definitely am looking very pregnant! I definitely felt a great relief after reaching Reubie's gestation of 31 weeks and 3 days, then I had the worry of what if this one comes just before Christmas or on Christmas day! Luckily he didn't and another sigh of relief was sighed. Having a baby in hospital is bad enough but when it's Christmas time and you have a toddler you want to make it as special as possible for them.

me at 33 weeks!

So now I am 33 weeks and 5 days and feel reasonably calm about the rest of my pregnancy. I feel like if this little boy decides to be born today all will be okay. I'm sure others who have had full term babies would be scared to death if they went into labour this early but I'm feeling positive. I have a growth scan on Wednesday when I will be exactly 34 weeks. this is just part of my high risk care from having a previous prem labour. I'm not really sure there's any benefit to having the scan as Reubie was big for his gestation so he wasn't born early due to any placenta issues i.e not getting enough nutrients to grow but it's lovely to get another peek at him! At my 20 weeks scan he was measuring slightly big and at my last midwife appointment my bump was measuring a bit bigger too, so I'm expecting this scan to say he's going to be big! Hopefully not too big! Especially if I go to my due date or later! I'm quite excited by the fact that I may even go over my due date! I'm sure if I do reach it though I'll be trying everything to bring on labour!

Only 3 weeks and 2 days until I reach full term and I can have this baby at my local midwife led hospital. As there are no doctors you have to be low risk and have reached full term. I would really love to give birth there my husband and I were both born there and it's only a 10 minute walk from our house. Now I really need to finish packing my hospital bag!!

My first week of maternity leave

So I haven't written any blog posts for a while, with Christmas and work I've just been run off my feet and sooo tired! But at last my maternity leave has started! It really came at the perfect time, I feel so tired and achy at the moment. I'm basically not doing anything physical unless I absolutely have too. Just walking the 5 minute walk into town I get about 5 Braxton Hicks, which aren't painful but are so uncomfortable and the way Boy is positioned in my belly means he's bouncing up and down on my bladder every time I walk! I was hoping being on maternity leave I'd be able to get the house tidy and then relax and try and get vaguely organised for Christmas. I've sort of managed it but it's been a rather busy week! My sister Beth who lives in Australia came to England so was staying at ours and we had a early Christmas dinner with all of the family as my Aunty and cousins will be abroad for their Christmases this year and Beth will be back in Australia. It was lovely to have everyone together and I think it'll actually be quite nice to have a quieter Christmas this year, especially as........ my little sister finally had her little baby girl Nancy (a week and 1 day overdue)! She's such a cutie but seems so big even though she's on 7lb 3oz, I guess it's because Reubie was so tiny!

 Nancy's birth makes me think about giving birth to baby number 2 at the end of this week I'll be 31w and 3ds the gestation I was when I had Reubie. I see the midwife mid week and it will be a relief once I past that milestone, I really, really hope I can make it past Christmas, I'm worried that going into labour before Christmas will make Christmas stressful for everyone, having a baby in NICU is hard enough without it being Christmas, and this year with Reubie being nearly 3 it's the first Christmas where he'll really understand what's going on so I want it to be special. It's funny earlier in my pregnancy I was fairly positive about reaching full term but now I feel like I probably won't, maybe because I'm so uncomfortable. I think my build doesn't help I'm very slim about 1 1/2 - 2 stone under weight so carrying a baby of about 7 months gestation feels like carrying the weight of a baby at term and I've still got 2 months to go if I do get to full term!

This week I've also been trying to get into the Christmas spirit and I decorated our living room windows with chalk pens, it was really hard to photograph but it looks really effective in real life! I was inspired by a post I saw on Instagram. Reubie and I have also been making Christmas tree decorations out of air drying clay to give as Christmas presents, he drew a little picture on each decoration and I wrote what they were on the back, some were quite random like a princess with toes!? And a gingerbread man with a tail?! I don't know where these ideas come from!                           

I did get some time to relax this week an I made two more crocheted cardigans for Reubie! Let's hope I have a bit more time to relax this week! Happy Holidays everyone!!

Crochet Pixie Baby Bonnet Tutorial /Pattern

This pattern is super easy and a great first project for an amateur crocheter. I'm going to give basic instructions, which can be adapted very easily to make the bonnet bigger or smaller. You could also embellish the hat with a bobble as I have or with some crocheted flowers. I've also made this hat using a bobble stitch for the first 2-3 rows in a different colour, which looks awesome and could be done in Red and white to make a cute Christmasy bonnet! I am making this bonnet to match a Christmas jumper I am making for my sisters baby that is due in December so this pattern is for a new born size but as I said to make it bigger you just simply add more stiches to the initial chain and then crochet extra rows. I am using a 4mm crochet hook and double knit yarn, a bigger hook could be used for to add more stretch to the hat and also to create a bigger hat.

Step 1
Chain 55, then half treble crochet (this is the british term the American term is half double crochet- yarn over hook, insert hook in the next stitch to be worked, yarn over hook, pull yarn through stitch, yarn over hook, pull yarn through all 3 loops on hook) into the second chain from hook continue all the way along, this will make 53 stiches. Then chain 1 turn and HTC all the way to the end again, continue doing this until you have a rectangle that when folded makes a square. See photos 1 and 2 below. To make a larger hat chain more stitches and continue in the same way ensuring it forms a square when folded.

Top left photo1, top right 2, bottom left 3, bottom right 4

Step 2
Fold the rectangle and crochet together from bottom to top, this is the back of the hat and forms the little pixie point. Cast off yarn

Step 3
Now to make the strings to tie the bonnet on with, these can be as long or short as you like, I like them to be just long enough to tie in a bow(see picture 3.) Here I have chained 45 stitches. Then attach to the bottom corner of the bonnet and slip stitch around the bottom to neaten up the edges. When you get to the edge of the bonnet chain 46 stitches and then turn slip stitching in first chain from hook and all the way along the chain and along the edge of the bonnet all the way along to end of the first string. Cast off yarn.


Step 4
Sew in ends and turn the hat inside out. Tah Dah! Finished. Like I previously said you could embellish your hat with a bobble / pompom, you could add pompoms to the strings, you could make it into a cute Christmas hat by doing the first few rows in white and adding a white bobble. you can also use any crochet stitch you like, a double or treble would add a bit more stretch, or you could mix it up doing rows of different stitches to add texture. A scallop edging would look nice to frame a babies face. Heck you could even make an adult sized one!! You can see more of my makes on my instagram page cotswold_mama

My Crochet Addiction!

Today I'm 25 weeks and 3 days pregnant and feeling great, I'm finally a bit less tired and at the moment I'm hopeful I'll at least make it to further along than I was with Reubie. My crochet addiction feels like it's stepped up a gear!! I can't stop making things!


My sister is due her little girl at the beginning of December and one of my friends is due 2 weeks before me, so as well as Reubie I have 3 other children I can make for! I think crochet is like nesting for me! I taught myself to crochet about 2 years ago by watching crochet tutorials on youtube! If you're thinking about learning do it!



 

 It really is easy once you learn a couple of stitches. I would recommend starting with a basic granny square until you feel confident and then try a few basic patterns such as a pixie baby bonnet. At the moment I'm obsessed with the BallHanknSkein patterns on Etsy, you can find their page here BallHanknSkein.




 I especially love the fairisle cardigan I think I have made about 10 of them! they are easier to make than they look, and I like that they look knitted rather than crocheted. I plan on posting a very simple pixie bonnet pattern on here in the next few days, which is a great pattern for newbies to start with.