Motherhood!

I've been back to work for just over a month now and OMG it's been an eventful month! Reuben caught chicken pox for the second time! Who knew you could get it twice?! The first time it was quite a mild case and he was around a year old. This time it was awful he was covered! It didn't do any favours for his ezcema either with all the scratching! Top tip for chicken pox is dilute lavender oil  in milk and pour it in the bath, it helps to soothe and heal the spots as it's antibacterial and anti inflammatory. The milk is supposed to help disperse the oil through the bath rather than it floating on top of the water and evaporating away. We thought Eben had got away with not catching them but lucky us 2.5 weeks later and he had them too. His were quite mild so knowing my luck he'll get them again! He did have one dodgy looking spot though that we had to get cream from the doctors for. We also decided it would be a good time to renovate, so the builders have been in and have knocked through the wall dividing our living and dining room. We have also been toilet training, which has been quite successful ( I'll write a separate post on his we've done it) and Ebens cut his first tooth ( my nipples definitely know it!). Then just to make the month even more eventful Reubie ended up in hospital after his breathing became very laboured. He had a cough for a couple of weeks more or less since the chicken pox, we thought he might have had some in his throat. It seemed to turn into a sort of habit so we thought he would stop eventually if we didn't pay it much attention. Then suddenly one night he didn't sleep well and in the morning woke up finding it difficult to breathe. His stomach and chest were going in and out really quite far and fast when he was breathing. So we took him to the out of hours service in the hospital ( of course this happened on a Saturday when no GP surgeries are open!) Our local hospital is very small and under staffed and underfunded so there we're just three nurses there and no doctors. They gave him oxygen and monitored the oxygen levels in his blood as well as his heart rate.  At the time his oxygen levels were at 90 when they should have been at least 96 ( I think this is a percentage?!) and his heart rate was high as well. They basically said that we'd have to go to the next nearest hospital and that it would be quicker for us to drive than for them to arrange an ambulance. Although they then said that if his breathing got worse that we should stop the car immediately and call an ambulance. So as you can imagine that was a scary 20 minute drive! Reubie did seem better in him self during the journey to the hospital but he was still using his stomach to help him breathe. Reubie was assessed again and they listened to his chest and said they could head a wheeze. His oxygen levels had improved a bit but they said they like to monitor him to see what was going on. We were told in was probably and infection, which is quite common for children to get, although I don't know anyone who this has happened to! They also said that a third of children who suffer with this infection that causes a wheeze and low oxygen levels go on to have asthma. Seeing as eczema and asthma often go hand in hand and it runs in our families I'm guessing Reubie probably will go on to have asthma. Basically it seems he had the same treatment as a child who has had an asthma attack would have. He was given an inhaler and he had to have 10 puffs from it 3 times in one hour to see if there was any improvement. It improved a bit so they said we could try 10 puffs every 2  hours. Then after an hour and he was also given some steroid tablets, which were crushed into a yoghurt! Yuck! There was a definite improvement but the doctors could still hear a wheeze and his breathing was still laboured. For us to be able to go home we needed for him to be able to last 4 hours between needing his inhaler. So we then realised he would have to be in over night. They also suspected that his oxygen levels would go down once he fell asleep so it would be best for him to be in hospital. My husband stayed in with him as I'd need to feed Eben through the night. As the doctors suspected his levels did drop back down to 90 % so he had to have an oxygen mask on for the night. Poor Reubie and hubby didn't get much sleep as it was very noisy. We were worried this would mean he may end up in for another night but they started the 2 hourly inhaler puffs at 8 and when a doctor finally did the rounds we were told he would be fine to go home. Reubie was given another dose of steroids and another dose to take home and have the following day as well as a wheeze plan to ease off the inhaler slowly. It's been a week and a half now and he still has a bit of a cough but luckily it hasn't happened again!

He's here! - My birth story and the following weeks

Our new addition baby Eben made his appearance on Thursday 11th February at 5.25am weighing in at a healthy 7lbs 6oz. I was 39 weeks and 1 day and I didn't have any signs leading up to the labour. I had been looking out for signs such as loss of appetite, diarrhoea, Braxton hicks, lose of mucus plug but I had none of those! I had an appointment with my midwife the previous day and we put a plan in place for me to have a stretch and sweep for the following week. Maybe it was finally having the end in sight and me being able to relax that led me to going into labour. Anyway I went to bed as usual but Reubie my 3 year old was in bed with us as he was ill with hand, foot and mouth. At about 1am he woke up not feeling well and at 1.50 I went to the loo thinking I needed a number 2 but instead my waters broke on the toilet! it wasn't a massive gush but I knew it was definitely my waters. I hadn't had any contractions but rang the maternity hospital anyway and we arranged for me to go in at 8am unless I started having regular painful contractions. As soon as I got off the phone the contractions started and were 5 minutes apart and reasonably painful. After half an hour we decided we better go into hospital so my husband rang his mum to get her to look after Reubie and then rang up the maternity hospital to let them know we were on our way in. We got to hospital at around 3am the contractions were more painful but I was worried I might be in labour for ages so didn't want to take pain relief too soon. After about half an hour I definitely needed the gas and air. Last time I had two lots of pethidine and diamorphine before I had gas and air but I decided against any this time as they made me feel quite sick and out of it last time. Before I had the gas and air the midwife examined me and said I was about 5cm dilated. I felt a bit disappointed I wasn't more dilated but the midwife reassured me that second births can happen much quicker. Dilation of a firstborn can take up to an hour per centimetre, luckily for me I only had about 2 hours more to go not 5 hours. The contractions were becoming closer and closer and there soon was barely a seconds break between each one. Finally it was time to push my midwife was lovely and really encouraging, she told me she could see his hair and it wouldn't be long only a few more pushes. it was painful but that relief once the head is out is indescribable, one more long hard push and out  he came! He had his hand by his face and the cord was wrapped around his head and hand twice, so it was lucky his hand was there. I had a lovely cuddle whilst delivering the placenta. Then I was examined and had a second degree tear so I had to have 2 stitches, I was given the option of an injection down there to numb the pain or more gas and air. I opted for gas and air, the pain was bearable. Then it was all over! Daddy got a cuddle whilst I went to have a bath. Then we moved down to the ward for breakfast. It all happened so fast it was so strange to think that 6 hours before Eben was in my belly!
I had forgotten about the after pains was soon  reminded of them, apparently they get worse with each child, luckily this is our last! I honesty think I would have preferred to give birth again than have the after pains and the pain of the stitches! The after pains lasted about 4 days and the pain from the stitches eased after about 1 week. Now that its been 2 1/2 weeks the pain from stitches has completely gone. If I didn't have a bloody annoying sore throat and cough I think I would actually feel my normal self, even if sleep has been lacking a bit!

Breastfeeding Rant!

I feel like everyday there's a post on facebook by one of the many parenting/motherhood type pages I follow talking about breastfeeding and usually in what I see to be a negative light. I'm sure you've seen the video (which admits to being a set up) where a breastfeeding mum is feeding her child on the tube when a man sitting a few seats down tells her to stop and that he doesn't want to see it. I think the aim of the group who set it up is to see how the public react to this situation. The public react in a good way defending the mum but I can't help but think that this video may put off mothers to be who are planning on breastfeeding. Yes it shows that people will generally back up the mum but a nervous or shy mother to be may think they will get this every time the feed in public. They maybe dreading the confrontation that might occur when they want to feed in public. Today there was a post by a lady who struggled to breastfeed talking to other mothers who struggled, the outcome in the end was they all continued to breastfeed and it was all ok. I understand that for someone struggling watching the video may help them to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it may also make people feel that everyone struggles. There was no balance in the video to show that for some it can be easy.
Because of all these posts I keep seeing about how hard breastfeeding is and how confrontational it can be to feed in public I would like to share my experiences. My son was born premature at 31 weeks and 3 days gestation, breastfeeding would be hard to establish quickly as he was in hospital and I was at home. I pumped every 3 hours as was advised by the midwives and nurses to ensure I had a good supply that could be fed to him when I wasn't there. He was fed to start with by tube but after a few days they fed him with a cup rather than bottle so he didn't get used to the feel of a bottle. I also did a lot of kangaroo care and we attempted a breastfeed at every feed before he had my milk from a cup. It was tiring having to pump around the clock but not painful and my supply was very healthy. I ended up filling the hospitals freezer, ours and my mother in laws with my milk! The only time I felt a bit uncomfortable was if I didn't pump often enough and was really full, then I would just express a little into a sink until I could pump! After about 3 weeks I was able to go into transitional care to establish breastfeeding before he would be allowed home. We were in for about 10 days, he had to be consistently gaining weight whilst breastfeeding. It felt like a long time but really 10 days is brilliant. When we got home I continued to breastfeed until about 5 months when I got paranoid about how much he was getting. Something I imagine most mothers of premmies feel. So I thought give him a bottle of expressed breast milk for a few days just to see what he was getting, then of course he wouldn't go back to breastfeeding!
Whilst I was breastfeeding I didn't have any negative experiences, whilst feeding in public. I had no stares, no whispers, no frowns and no comments from anyone. I suppose maybe I could have had some looks but didn't notice them?! I did have some positive experiences I found a lot of local coffee shops would come and wait on me rather than letting me come to the counter and they always asked if I wanted any water. One owner of a café said to come back anytime I needed to feed and I could just sit and didn't need to buy anything.
What I'm trying to say with this post is that although some mothers can struggle and it maybe too painful to breastfeed for others it can be very easy. If you're a first time mum and the thought of how painful breastfeeding might be scares you, It might not be painful. Or maybe you're worried about how the public will react, you might be surprised! Give it a go! If it's too painful you can stop, there is no shame in bottle feeding but you won't know unless you try. And as for any negative public reaction, I've always had some lines ready to use in case: 'it's the law that I can breastfeed anywhere' is what I would say and then ignore them, I don't imagine anyone would say anything in response but if they did I would tell them to take it up with the manager of the venue I was at, as they would have to support me as it is the law. As I said though I have never had any negativity or confrontation, mothers to be thinking of breastfeeding give it a go you might like it!

Some helpful links!:
https://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/feeding
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-positioning-attachment.aspx
https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/
http://www.breastfeedingsupporters.org.uk/

Nearly Full term!

This pregnancy is zooming by I can't believe I'll be 34 weeks in 2 days time! I also can't believe that this time last pregnancy Reubie was born! I've never been more pregnant than I am now and I definitely am looking very pregnant! I definitely felt a great relief after reaching Reubie's gestation of 31 weeks and 3 days, then I had the worry of what if this one comes just before Christmas or on Christmas day! Luckily he didn't and another sigh of relief was sighed. Having a baby in hospital is bad enough but when it's Christmas time and you have a toddler you want to make it as special as possible for them.

me at 33 weeks!

So now I am 33 weeks and 5 days and feel reasonably calm about the rest of my pregnancy. I feel like if this little boy decides to be born today all will be okay. I'm sure others who have had full term babies would be scared to death if they went into labour this early but I'm feeling positive. I have a growth scan on Wednesday when I will be exactly 34 weeks. this is just part of my high risk care from having a previous prem labour. I'm not really sure there's any benefit to having the scan as Reubie was big for his gestation so he wasn't born early due to any placenta issues i.e not getting enough nutrients to grow but it's lovely to get another peek at him! At my 20 weeks scan he was measuring slightly big and at my last midwife appointment my bump was measuring a bit bigger too, so I'm expecting this scan to say he's going to be big! Hopefully not too big! Especially if I go to my due date or later! I'm quite excited by the fact that I may even go over my due date! I'm sure if I do reach it though I'll be trying everything to bring on labour!

Only 3 weeks and 2 days until I reach full term and I can have this baby at my local midwife led hospital. As there are no doctors you have to be low risk and have reached full term. I would really love to give birth there my husband and I were both born there and it's only a 10 minute walk from our house. Now I really need to finish packing my hospital bag!!

My Crochet Addiction!

Today I'm 25 weeks and 3 days pregnant and feeling great, I'm finally a bit less tired and at the moment I'm hopeful I'll at least make it to further along than I was with Reubie. My crochet addiction feels like it's stepped up a gear!! I can't stop making things!


My sister is due her little girl at the beginning of December and one of my friends is due 2 weeks before me, so as well as Reubie I have 3 other children I can make for! I think crochet is like nesting for me! I taught myself to crochet about 2 years ago by watching crochet tutorials on youtube! If you're thinking about learning do it!



 

 It really is easy once you learn a couple of stitches. I would recommend starting with a basic granny square until you feel confident and then try a few basic patterns such as a pixie baby bonnet. At the moment I'm obsessed with the BallHanknSkein patterns on Etsy, you can find their page here BallHanknSkein.




 I especially love the fairisle cardigan I think I have made about 10 of them! they are easier to make than they look, and I like that they look knitted rather than crocheted. I plan on posting a very simple pixie bonnet pattern on here in the next few days, which is a great pattern for newbies to start with. 





Neonatal Care

Reuben 1 day old

In my previous post I wrote about my pregnancy and premature birth experience. A few people who have read it have said how brave and strong I was, I honestly don't feel that I was. I just felt I was doing what I had to do and I got on with it. Having said that the birth and pregnancy was the easy bit. Reuben's time in hospital was far harder it was like living in limbo, time felt like time was standing still. Our lives revolved around visiting the hospital and it felt to me like the world outside of that didn't exist, just stopped and didn't matter. I wish I had written some sort of journal whilst Reuben and I were in hospital but just getting through the days was exhausting. So this account of our experience of neonatal care maybe scrambled, I'm going to try to write in chronologically but things may have happened in a different order to how I remember. Others who have experienced neonatal care may think I've missed out some things, I really am writing everything I remember so Reuben may have had more tests that I cant remember. These are just my memories and I hope it makes those who have experienced similar or are currently going through something similar feel they are not alone and perhaps it can help those who don't know what to do or say to support loved ones going through the after effects of a preemie birth.

So Reuben was born on 8th February 2013 at 31 weeks and 3 days gestation weighing 3lbs 15oz. The birth was natural and straight forward and as I said in my previous post after giving birth I got to see him briefly before he was whisked away to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). My husband and I then got to see him again once he was settled in his incubator. Seeing him in the incubator wasn't really as scary or intimidating as I had thought, I think it helped that he was quite big for his gestation so he wasn't as small as I expected and he looked nice and pink and strong. There were wires and tubes everywhere and he was on oxygen but he looked comfortable. I immediately felt a bond and a huge rush of love for him, that sort of fluttery butterfly feeling in your stomach. I just wanted to hold him and love him and be his mummy.



Cuddle with daddy

I still felt extremely weak and tired from my time in hospital and the labour and stayed in hospital over night in a private room on the maternity ward. I didn't feel uncomfortable or jealous being near other mums who had their babies. It just was what it was, I just felt lucky my son was okay and excepted what the situation was. I had a midwife come and show me how to express milk using their pumps and was given lots of little bottles to fill and label and keep in their fridge. They recommended that I expressed every three hours to get my supply going. I found the expressing easy, it wasn't painful at all and oh my gosh I produced crazy amounts of milk! what was difficult was the waking every three hours to express when I hadn't slept for a week and had recently given birth. But of course this is hard for every new mum whether they've had a prem labour or not. I was allowed to visit Reuben in the Neonatal ward whenever I wanted and it was just up on the next floor of the hospital but I really was scared I was going to faint or collapse when I walked anywhere on my own, I felt so weak and shaky. So I couldn't really see Reuben if my husband wasn't there.
The following day when my husband and I went up to see Reuben he was off of the oxygen and we were able to hold him for the first time. Holding him was a little bit scary as we were told one of the wires going into his belly button must not fall out as it could bleed a lot. It was magical though and I just wanted to hold him all the time but I was also paranoid that he would get cold. We did skin to skin contact and kangaroo care and tried to put him to my breast. He sort of latched but he was getting my expressed milk though a feeding tube that went up his nose and into his stomach. In the NICU Reuben was connected to a monitor which showed his breathing and heartbeat and I think blood pressure and you couldn't help but look at it all the time! It hypnotised you, every time it beeped you panicked! There were about four other babies in the NICU at the same time as Reuben and so the noise from the machines was quite intense, I would hear beeping even in my sleep! That day the midwives said I was okay to go home but could leave that day when I was ready. I'm not sure I was really ready to leave but I knew I had to so I left at five in the evening so I could spend the whole day with Reuben before going home. It was hard leaving even though I was on a completely different floor of the hospital to Reuben because I felt like if something did go wrong I wouldn't be there. The first night at home was the hardest, I had my mobile phone on loud just in case and I had to start my expressing though the night routine at home.

 My husband took a week off work as paternity leave so we were able to go into the hospital early and spend the day there together with Reuben. The Neonatal unit was amazing as were all the nurses. there was a family room with a play area, kitchen and locker area, a pumping room and a quiet room where breastfeeding support meetings took place. I got a locker so I could fill it with food and books etc. I'm not really sure what tests Reuben had and when but I remember him having a couple of brain scans whilst in the NICU so they must have been during his first week in hospital as he was only there for a week. We arrived at the hospital whilst one was taking place so were able to watch. It was a bit like an ultrasound but on his head! So he had lots of gel stuff on his head and they were able to look at his brain on the monitor. Both scans came back as fine so it enabled us to have some relief. After about a week Reuben's body temperature stabilised and so he was moved into what was called the nursery room next door and into an open incubator.

Once my husbands week of paternity leave ended things got harder for me but we didn't want to use too much as we wanted to have time together once Reuben was out of hospital. It was harder for me because it meant I had to get the train into Gloucester everyday and the walk to the hospital. It made the day alot more tiring, I still felt quite shaky on my feet and generally weak. I imagine it must have been hard for my husband too but we've never really spoken about it. My daily routine was getting up at about 7am and expressing then catching the train that got in at about quarter to the hour, so by the time I had walked to the hospital it was 10am. This meant I could attempt to breastfeed at 10am, 1pm and 4pm and at 7pm before my husband and I went home. My husband would come over straight from work and we would leave straight after the 7pm feed. Whilst I was in the hospital all day I got into a routine to break up the day. I would feed Reuben at 10am and then immediately after go and express. Then I would sit with him for a bit sometimes with a book but mainly I would just look at how beautiful he was! Then I would have a lunch break and even though I wouldn't want to leave him I made myself have an hour to myself to eat and read to almost have some me time. One other thing I remember is purposely leaving our flat as quietly as possible and walking through town to the train station as fast as I could to avoid bumping into anyone I might know and have to talk to them about what was going on. I can honestly say I never once cried or broke down about our situation but I think its because I really tried to avoid any situation where I might i.e talking to someone about what was going on who wouldn't really understand. It's a bit like when you really hurt yourself and you've managed not to cry by biting your lip then someone goes and saying oh my gosh are you okay? and then you cant stop crying! I didn't mind having text messages from people as I didn't have to be face to face and it was nice to know people were thinking of us.

The routine pretty much stayed like this until we were moved into transitional care together. During this time whilst Reuben was in the nursery room I think he had a hearing test, I didn't see them do it but it came back all fine. I also reduced the amount I was expressing because the hospital told me they had no more space in their fridge or freezer as I had produced so much milk! By this time I had also filled a shelf in our freezer and my mother in laws! So I stopped expressing every three hours during the night and instead gave myself a 6 hour break so I could catch up on some sleep. Another memory I have from whilst Reuben was in the nursery room was going out for dinner one night with some friends. I really didn't want to go but my husband seemed to want to and I felt I couldn't say no, when we got to the restaurant there was no signal on any ones phones, which didn't help me to relax. When we finally got home my boobs felt like they were going to explode with milk and they sort of did, i got in the bath and they didn't just leak milk properly squirted out in a stream! And thankfully there were no missed calls on our phones.

After Reuben had been in hospital for around 3 weeks he was ready to be moved into transitional care. transitional care was a small ward with 4 beds for mums and their baby or babies. It was a lovely time because it meant that breastfeeding could be established properly as we were with our babies all the time. It also meant that we could talk to people in a similar situation. Whilst in the nursery room it was hard to talk to other mums and dads as you didn't know what they were going through and didn't want to say something that might upset them. Whereas when you are in the transitional room you know that everyone is on the path home so is feeling more positive. It was also nice to get a routine established before going home. Whilst we were in there Reuben had his eyes tested, which I didn't see and they recommended that I didn't. I did see the preparation of the test and that was bad enough. Reuben had to have eye drops put in each eye I'm not sure how many times they put the drops in but it was at least twice. When Reuben returned from the test his eyes were so red and puffy it bought tears to your eyes just to look at him. Even now looking back it makes my eyes water. But his eyes are absolutely find so I guess it's worth it for the reassurance. I found out after Reuben had his tests that he had had so many because he was under 32weeks gestation. There were twins born at exactly 32 weeks in the next bed who didn't have any of the tests. I actually felt a bit grateful Reuben was born before 32 weeks when I heard that as I think if I knew he wasn't having any tests because he was born 4 days later I'd be worrying he might have hearing and sight problems that we my not find out about for ages. I feel bad saying that as obviously the longer in the womb the better but it did give me such relief to know everything was fine. We weren't in transitional care for long but it felt like ages, for us we needed Reuben to be gaining weight whilst breast feeding, they weighed them every 3 days at midnight and on one of the weigh ins Reuben had lost some weight. Luckily after spending my birthday and mothers day in transitional care we were finally allowed home!

I know my story is a positive one and many others have very different outcomes with their preemie babies. My husband and I are so grateful to all of the staff at Gloucester Royal Hospital who were truly amazing at looking after all of us whilst Reuben was in neonatal care. I am now pregnant with my second son and I will be writing a post about deciding to have another baby after have a preemie.






 

My Premature Birth Story

My Premature Birth Story



Reuben one day old

So I said in a previous post about how my son was born premature. Birth stories are easy to find on the Internet but premature ones not so easy. When I gave birth early I didn't know of anyone else who had given birth so early. I look back on the birth of my son and our time in hospital now and think how lucky my husband and I are that everything was OK. At the time I can honestly say I was never scared or worried, I took each day as it came. For some reason didn't even consider the thought that something might go wrong. This is how I remember it, I'm not sure how accurate my memories are, my husband would probably tell a different story but this is mine.

So first things first, my pregnancy. When we discovered I was pregnant we were thrilled and I thought maybe I had gotten away with no morning sickness but at exactly 6 weeks its struck! I don't think it was too bad I've heard many others have it worse but from weeks six to ten I couldn't eat anything except ketchup or prawn cocktail flavour crisps and I lost half a stone. We were on our anniversary weekend away when it was at its worse luckily my other half didn't book the gin tasting! Just as suddenly as the morning sickness came it went and I gained the half a stone I'd lost back by the time it was my twelve week scan. The scan went well and there were no problems. My pregnancy continued to run smoothly and at our twenty week scan we found out we were having a boy. Again everything went smoothly until around twenty six/ twenty seven weeks when I started to suffer from pelvic girdle pain (PGP). I work on my feet so I ended up being signed off work as it was just so painful to walk around and stand all day. I felt really guilty leaving work early as when I didn't move around the pain completely went and I felt fine. At 28 weeks I work up from a nap an felt a gush, my first thought wasn't to panic, I had heard your bladder can weaken in pregnancy and although I didn't think I'd wet myself I went to the bathroom to check. It was blood, so of course I panicked. My husband was at work about fifteen miles away and my mum lived about five miles away. I tried to calm myself and rang my local maternity unit, they said to ring triage so I did and the said to come in as soon as I could. I quickly rang my hubby and got him to meet me at the hospital and rang my mum to pick me up. We got to hospital and my hubby was already there. We had to wait for ages so my mum went home but I felt relieved to be in the safest place. They put pads on my stomach to monitor the baby's heartbeat and movement. They were quite tight which the baby didn't like, he kicked and kicked, which was so reassuring for me. I had an internal examination and a swap taken. They couldn't see where the blood had come from and the swab results said the at I had thrush! And they believed that was why I had the bleeding! I hadn't had any symptoms at all so I was surprised but very relieved.

I continued to suffer from PGP but had no bleeding and the thrush cleared up straight away and as far as I'm aware it didn't return. On the Sunday before I gave birth I did have an increased number Braxton hicks for about an hour I had one every 10 minutes but then they stopped completely so I didn't worry. Until then I had only had one or two a day. I can't remember when I first started having them as I wasn't aware that what I was suffering from was Braxton hicks. If I had to guess I would say I started having them from about 18 weeks but like I said maybe one to two a day. For me Braxton hicks weren't at all painful but just a bit uncomfortable. My tummy felt harder and it felt like he was sticking his bum out in an awkward way, so to start with that what I thought was happening! I just thought he'd moved into and odd position so rubbed my tummy until he moved. Anyway, the Tuesday after I had an appointment with the maternity chiropractor who had a feel of my pelvis and said that the right side had rotated forwards and that's why I was having so much pain in my leg when I walked. She manipulated my pelvis back to where it should be but said it would eventually rotate forwards again. I went home feeling fine, I still felt pain when walking but the moving of my pelvis hadn't caused any other pain.

The next morning I woke up bleeding. I'm sure my hubby just thought it was just thrush again but I called triage and because it would be rush hour traffic she said to call and ambulance as I'd get in quicker. The ambulance seemed to take forever, I really don't remember how long but I remember trying to keep calm and concentrated on whether or not I could feel movement. I was also too scared to stand in case more blood came out. The ambulance crew were lovely. When I got to hospital I was put on to a small ward with full term mums whose waters had broken but labour hadn't started so they were being induced. It was quite interesting hearing everything go on around me, everyone was hidden by curtains so no one could see each other. I think the busy atmosphere and being in the best place helped me relax. I was examined like I was before and they couldn't see where the bleeding had come from. The bleeding stopped but they decided to keep me in over night as a precaution and they also gave me the first steroid shot needed to mature my baby's lungs. So when visiting hours were over at nine o'clock my husband went home. You can guess what happened next! Within about half an hour of him leaving the bleeding started again and with it this time came Braxton hicks approximately every ten minutes. The bleeding was never a lot but obviously any bleeding is a worry especially when teamed with contractions. I asked if I should get my husband back and they were pretty sure that he baby wouldn't come that night so I let him know what was going on but told him to stay at home and come straight back in the morning.

I was transferred to a private room with my own midwife, I knew I was in the safest place and being monitored, I was hooked up to a machine that monitored the baby and my heart but I didn't sleep at all that night I remember watching the clock and timing my contractions, which continued to be every ten minutes. My room was very hi tech with a special preemie birth table ready should it be needed. The next morning not long after the midwife left the room for a few minutes the monitor on my starting beeping, I felt normal so rolled over to find the machine saying warning erratic heartbeat! Then of course I felt panicked. I tried to find the call nurse button but it had fallen on the floor, I felt too weak to reach it I thought I might fall out of bed if I tried. I had so many thoughts rushing through my head, my main concern was 'am I going to have a heart attack!?' so I tried to take control of the situation and I calmed myself and tried to breathe slowly and deeply. The machine stopped beating and then the midwife came in, she probably hadn't been gone for more than five minutes but it felt like to ever! I told her about the machine and I had to have an ECG, which showed everything was fine. Then my hubby came in, the bleeding continued intermittently and the contractions continued to be regular every ten minutes. I was given my second steroid injection and I had so many internal examinations by doctors, midwives and consultants. There didn't appear to be a reason for the bleeding but because I was bleeding they were unable to try to stop the labour. I can remember the doctor saying he wasn't sure when I would give birth it could be that day or it could be weeks but that I would remain in hospital until I gave birth. My mum and step dad visited that afternoon and my contractions started getting stronger, they weren't painful but I had to breathe thought them.

My husband stayed in with me that night and it was much like the night before we couldn't sleep but at least we were in the safest place. Poor hubby had to sleep in a chair most of the night but they did find him a bed eventually! By about six the next morning the contractions were much stronger and they checked me and I was finally one centimetre dilated. I don't think anyone believed I was in labour until then as they were still referring to my contractions as Braxton hicks. I was also sent for scan to check if I was in labour! The scan confirmed that the head was engaged. The contractions got worse and I was first given pethidine to help, which worked but made me very drowsy, I was given a second lot and then when I asked for more I was given diamorphine. I was exhausted and the contractions were so painful. I then was given gas and air and that really did help with the pain other than when the midwife said that I was using it more often than I was having contractions so I stopped and found that their monitor just wasn't picking up all of my contractions! A lot of what happened next is a blur, I don't remember them checking to see how dilated I was but they may have! I have vague memories of having a back massage and the smell of aromatherapy oils. Then I remember suddenly feeling like I needed to push (you always see people being told not to push and just to pant on TV) so I asked if I could push and they said yes. Then I was told that the baby was in distress so I had to try to do one big push to get him out, they thought it best I sat up, I remember saying I'm too tired you'll have to pull me up! So they did! And in the next push my waters finally burst and out came Reuben immediately followed by my placenta.

Reuben was rushed over to the hi tech table and cleaned up and we got to see him briefly before he was whisked away. Then they gave me another internal examination to check for tears and grazes and I had a small graze. The placenta was huge! Bigger than Reuben! Then I was shown how to hand express some milk so they could give it to Reuben as soon as possible. Then once I had cleaned myself up I was wheel chaired up to see Reuben. He was hooked up to oxygen and actually didn't look that small. He weighed 3lbs 15oz, which is quite big for his gestation of 31 weeks and 3 days.

So there it is my preemie birth story. I will do a post about the time Reubie spent in neonatal care to follow.



Reuben and I, kangaroo care

20 Week Scan

So Today we had our 20 week scan. We had the first appointment of the day at 8am and oh my gosh it was so hard to drink two pints of water that early! Reubie was very excited and has been saying that it will be a boy and that we could call him Boy! Reubies' Nanna came around to watch him whilst we went, it really is like winter outside today, its really foggy and cold. We arrived 15 minutes early, and it was such a long wait, the sonographer got in at 5 past but I was starting to worry she might have got stuck in the fog! The scan went well any everything looked ok, the sonographer praised me for having such a full bladder so early in the morning! And at the end after a lot of wriggling and shaking we managed to get the baby to move his legs to reveal we are having another boy! We are very happy and so is Reubie the sonographer even gave us an extra photo for him to keep! Now I can't wait to start crocheting boy coloured things for our new addition! Eeeek! I'm just so happy and excited!!!!

About Me

 

I'm a thirty something mummy living in the Cotswold's. I married my Sixth form sweet heart Four years ago and we have a son Reuben (Reubie) who's two and a half and I'm currently pregnant with our second child due in February. I am an Instagram addict and I've always thought about starting a blog, so with maternity leave just around the corner I thought why not use my free time to finally start one. I will be posting about my experiences as a mum as they happen as well as posting about my interests and current issues. I love baking and have become a crochet addict after teaching myself a couple of years ago using Youtube videos.

So a bit more about me I grew up in Harpenden until I was about Thirteen and then my family moved to my birth town of Stroud in Gloucestershire. I am the eldest child and I have a sister, two half sisters and a half brother. I went to University and studied for BA in Geography and Environmental Planning. I have never worked in anything related to the environment but I feel strongly about protecting it as best we can. After university I worked my way up the retail ladder and I am now a shop manager. I would never have thought management is where I'd end up but I really love it! I love all the people I work with and mostly look forward to going to work!

My son Reubie was born in February 2013 and he was eight and a half weeks early. Luckily everything was fine and he's such a cute loving and lively boy, you would never guess that he was premature.