I feel like everyday there's a post on facebook by one of the many parenting/motherhood type pages I follow talking about breastfeeding and usually in what I see to be a negative light. I'm sure you've seen the video (which admits to being a set up) where a breastfeeding mum is feeding her child on the tube when a man sitting a few seats down tells her to stop and that he doesn't want to see it. I think the aim of the group who set it up is to see how the public react to this situation. The public react in a good way defending the mum but I can't help but think that this video may put off mothers to be who are planning on breastfeeding. Yes it shows that people will generally back up the mum but a nervous or shy mother to be may think they will get this every time the feed in public. They maybe dreading the confrontation that might occur when they want to feed in public. Today there was a post by a lady who struggled to breastfeed talking to other mothers who struggled, the outcome in the end was they all continued to breastfeed and it was all ok. I understand that for someone struggling watching the video may help them to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it may also make people feel that everyone struggles. There was no balance in the video to show that for some it can be easy.
Because of all these posts I keep seeing about how hard breastfeeding is and how confrontational it can be to feed in public I would like to share my experiences. My son was born premature at 31 weeks and 3 days gestation, breastfeeding would be hard to establish quickly as he was in hospital and I was at home. I pumped every 3 hours as was advised by the midwives and nurses to ensure I had a good supply that could be fed to him when I wasn't there. He was fed to start with by tube but after a few days they fed him with a cup rather than bottle so he didn't get used to the feel of a bottle. I also did a lot of kangaroo care and we attempted a breastfeed at every feed before he had my milk from a cup. It was tiring having to pump around the clock but not painful and my supply was very healthy. I ended up filling the hospitals freezer, ours and my mother in laws with my milk! The only time I felt a bit uncomfortable was if I didn't pump often enough and was really full, then I would just express a little into a sink until I could pump! After about 3 weeks I was able to go into transitional care to establish breastfeeding before he would be allowed home. We were in for about 10 days, he had to be consistently gaining weight whilst breastfeeding. It felt like a long time but really 10 days is brilliant. When we got home I continued to breastfeed until about 5 months when I got paranoid about how much he was getting. Something I imagine most mothers of premmies feel. So I thought give him a bottle of expressed breast milk for a few days just to see what he was getting, then of course he wouldn't go back to breastfeeding!
Whilst I was breastfeeding I didn't have any negative experiences, whilst feeding in public. I had no stares, no whispers, no frowns and no comments from anyone. I suppose maybe I could have had some looks but didn't notice them?! I did have some positive experiences I found a lot of local coffee shops would come and wait on me rather than letting me come to the counter and they always asked if I wanted any water. One owner of a café said to come back anytime I needed to feed and I could just sit and didn't need to buy anything.
What I'm trying to say with this post is that although some mothers can struggle and it maybe too painful to breastfeed for others it can be very easy. If you're a first time mum and the thought of how painful breastfeeding might be scares you, It might not be painful. Or maybe you're worried about how the public will react, you might be surprised! Give it a go! If it's too painful you can stop, there is no shame in bottle feeding but you won't know unless you try. And as for any negative public reaction, I've always had some lines ready to use in case: 'it's the law that I can breastfeed anywhere' is what I would say and then ignore them, I don't imagine anyone would say anything in response but if they did I would tell them to take it up with the manager of the venue I was at, as they would have to support me as it is the law. As I said though I have never had any negativity or confrontation, mothers to be thinking of breastfeeding give it a go you might like it!
Some helpful links!:
https://www.nct.org.uk/parenting/feeding
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-positioning-attachment.aspx
https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/
http://www.breastfeedingsupporters.org.uk/
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