Update

I’ve just realised it’s been nearly a year since I last posted anything on here! I guess that shows how all consuming it is when you’ve got two children and that’s when one’s at school! So lots has happened since I lasted posted Reuben starting school for one. I’ve also upped my hours at work a bit , although still only part time. And I think I can safely say there will be no more bambinos! Hats off to those with more than two! And single parents omg you all deserve medals! So this postcus going to be short but sweet! I am going to try to post a bit more now I feel like life might be getting a bit more under control! But let’s see! I’m still breastfeeding Eben he’s two next month, so I think I’m going to write a post about our breastfeeding journey so far and also I plan to try to gently wean him off once he’s two but I just don’t really know how I’m going to do it yet as I’m quite lazy and it’s really easy just to settle him with boob! I’m dreading the thought of bedtimes with out boob!

Sleep !

So I haven't blogged for a long time! That's motherhood for you! For about 6 months I have been some how surviving with little or no sleep! By little or no sleep I mean from 6 months Eben went from waking 1-2 times in the night for a breastfeed to sometimes every hour and no longer than 3 hours! It only really effected me as although we coslept it was because we coslept that I was able to comfort him straight away so he didn't cry and wake everyone else up ( Reuben also cosleeps with us!). I've put the waking so often down to teething as it coincided with his first tooth coming through, which is another reason why I didn't want to take him out of our bed as I wanted to be close to him so I could comfort him.  In the last week we have managed to turn the sleep situation around! I sort of knew the only way I was going to get Eben to sleep longer was to put him in his cot, in the back of my mind I thought I'm going to have to try the cry it out method (although as gently as I can). This thought has been running through my mind for about 4 months now but I haven't felt like Eben or myself have been ready. We did try putting him in his cot and lying with him until he fell asleep but he seemed to only sleep for about a maximum of an hour and a half and quite often I'd be so tired I'd fall asleep with him rather than sneaking out, which kind of defeated the object and meant I got a bad back! Eben turned 1 just over a week ago so we decided to take the plunge and try the cry it out technique. There are many interpretations of the cry it out method, what follows is what we felt comfortable with and what seems to have worked for us.

Night 1

We went upstairs into our bedroom and got him into his pyjamas and then he nursed for about 20 minutes, I used to always nurse him lying down then I could sneak off once he was asleep so we thought it was important to change this. Then I took him into his and Reuben's bedroom, which has a dim night light in and I sang 'hush little baby' and then lay him in his cot. He screamed straight away! I had expected it so I was prepared. I waited 5 minutes before I went into comfort him and I didn't take him out of his cot, I did two more 5 minute intervals and I noticed he seemed to cry more when I went in. So we waited 10 minutes, then of course he pooed so we had to start the whole process again! We noticed that his cries weren't a sad cry but more of an angry frustrated cry and about half an hour after the poo his cries eased off. They were more like little shouts every minute or so until he was finally asleep. Then of course I thought I'd have a little peek at him and he woke! Luckily he just did 2 little cries and fell back to sleep. He woke about an hour and a half later but he didn't cry just whinged for about 15 minutes, I didn't go in to him as it wasn't a cry and he wasn't upset and he fell back to sleep by himself after 15 minutes. Throughout the night I heard him wake about 4 times but again he just whinged and didn't cry, he got back to sleep within 10 minutes on each occasion. I felt like this was a mini success as although I didn't get any more sleep than usual I was in my bed and Eben had managed to get himself back to sleep. I also was surprised to find my boobs weren't totally engorged! Which I guess means that all those times Eben was feeding at night weren't really feeds but just for comfort. Eben woke at 6.20am he was only whinging and would probably have gone back to sleep but we have to get up for nursery and work at 7am so I got him and bought him into bed for a feed.

  

Night 2

We did the same as the previous night a 20 minute feed, then into his room, sang our song once and lay him in his cot. He screamed straight away again as he had the previous night but only for 10 minutes and he was asleep!! An hour later there was a one off whinge but I think it was in his sleep. Again I heard him whinge about 4 times through the night but no proper crying and mostly just singular cries so I think they were in  his sleep. He woke at 6.30am so I bought him into our bed for a feed.

Night 3

We carried on our routine and he was asleep after 10 minutes of whinging. He was a bit more unsettled this evening and seemed to do a little whinge every hour for about 5 minutes. He had a 10 minute whinge at about 11pm just as I was falling asleep but then he slept until 7.20! no waking up during the night!!

Night 4

We carried on our routine and this time although he cried when I put him in his cot he stopped before I left the room! He whinged at about 10pm but then we had a 7 hour stint with no waking! He whinged at about 5am and then woke up properly at about 6.30am.

Night 5

This night we deviated from the routine slightly as my dad and sister were over for the weekend and we went out for dinner. So we did the routine but later than the usual 7pm, it was about 8pm. He settled quickly but we were back to the waking about 4 times whinging in the night, although as before they didn't last long.

Night 6

Back to our proper bedtime and routine but Eben had a danger nap at about 5pm! This meant he was very distracted during the breastfeed and he took a bit longer to settle. He woke a few times during the night but just whinges.

Night 7

We continued our routine and he settled quickly. He woke a couple of times whinging and at midnight he cried enough that hubby went in to comfort him. He managed to get him to settle back to sleep after 5 minutes and then he slept through until 7am.

So I guess what I've learnt is to be consistent and to trust yourself to know when you should or shouldn't go in to resettle as I definitely noticed Eben got more upset when I went in to comfort him. I can totally see why some people don't like the cry it out method, I don't like it myself but I think sometimes there comes a point where you can't go on surviving with so little sleep and it's important for a mother to be rested and have energy to play during the day and not be guzzling down coffee and gorging on chocolate for energy! I think if Eben had properly cried I may not have been able to do it, we had decided to try for a week and if it didn't work go back to cosleeping and then try again in a few months time. We will definitely continue with what we are doing, I must admit I do miss having him sleep next to me but I am liking this increased amount of sleep and I'm looking forward to more of it!

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Teething / How I'm suviving with no sleep!!!

Ebens never been a particularly great sleeper but I had gotten used to his sleep routine of asleep by 730/8 then waking at 1ish or if I was lucky 3ish then 7ish. He's slept through the night once and of course that was a night Reubie decided to wake up twice! But OMG teething!! The first two weren't too bad, I think his front teeth must be coming through now though he won't really let me look but I think I can see one peeking through and he's showing all the telltale signs: hot red cheeks, runny bum,  rubbing his ears and generally being big clingy and off his food. And he's been so unsettled at night, which when I do an early shift on a Saturday and have to be at work for 7am is not good! Anyway for me I've found the best way to cope is when I put him to bed (we cosleep) I then stay in bed and watch tv. That way I can relax and settle him easily. I've also found the only way I get through the day is strong coffee and lots of chocolate! I've been eating brownies for breakfast I'm that hungry from both being woken up multiple times at night and from comfort feeding through the night! Reubie really didn't suffer with teething, not until his last molars came through when he was nearly 3, I wonder if that has anything to do with him being a late tether?! Reubie was a year when he got his first tooth and Eben was 7 months.
I've found nothing seems to help make Eben feel better other than cuddles and boobie but I have been giving him calpol before bed and Anbesol liquid on his gums. He's also worn an amber teething anklet more or less since birth, I'm not sure it's helped but I dare not take it off invade he gets worse!!

Toilet / Potty Training

I've tried a few times to potty/ toilet train Reubie from about the age of 2 and he's never really been interested. We've had the potty in the bathroom next to the toilet and we had managed to persuade him to sit on it a few times but he was never really got the hang of it. We tried new pants with dinosaurs and bribery but nothing worked. To be honest I suppose we never put that much effort in but it's hard to juggle work with potty training especially as you need to be consistent.  Reubies at nursery 2.5 days a week and at my mums one day then at home the rest of the week so it just felt like too much effort to try to ensure we were all on the same page. I did the usual thing of googling ideas and the main consensus was to wait until they were ready. Some people think when their child tells them they're having a wee or a poo that they're ready to train but in my experience this wasn't the case. Reubie told us when he was pooing from about 18 months and used to go into the hallway or somewhere out of sight when he was doing it but he definitely wasn't ready. When he reached 3.5 I decided we should try again this time we used pull ups. I know a lot of people hate pull ups as they say they're like nappies but I really didn't want to deal with accidents and a house smelling of wee! So we started with pull ups and some bribery! I told him if he used the toilet and had a dry pull up he could have a kinder egg! The first few days he used the toilet a few times but also his pull up! Gradually he peed in his pull up less and the toilet more over about a week. Then he started to say to me 'mummy I'm doing a wee wee in my pull up!' That's when I knew I had to bite the bullet and get him in pants! So we did and actually other than when he napped he hasn't had any accidents whilst at with me. I've since learnt my lesson and wake Reubie after 30 minutes just to check if he needs a wee. He had a couple of accidents at nursery but has really surprised me by taking to it so well. We are still using pull ups at night as he's definitely not ready for nighttime training yet but even when I put a pull up on him he still wakes me to take him to the toilet in the night, which is annoying but makes me proud! When he was in hospital over night we put him in pull ups just in case and we were a bit worried he might take a backwards step but he didn't, he still carried on using the toilet. So based on what worked for us, it is true that waiting until they're ready is easier for everyone, some bribery in the early days works as do pretty pants! And of course lots of praise. Also not telling off when they pee their pants but to just say never mind, as Reubie was quite upset after he had accidents. Reubie also likes using the toilet as it makes him feel grown up so we haven't used a potty at all, it also means not having to then train them to use a toilet. Oh and although some days he seems to need the toilet every 10 minutes, always take them!

Motherhood!

I've been back to work for just over a month now and OMG it's been an eventful month! Reuben caught chicken pox for the second time! Who knew you could get it twice?! The first time it was quite a mild case and he was around a year old. This time it was awful he was covered! It didn't do any favours for his ezcema either with all the scratching! Top tip for chicken pox is dilute lavender oil  in milk and pour it in the bath, it helps to soothe and heal the spots as it's antibacterial and anti inflammatory. The milk is supposed to help disperse the oil through the bath rather than it floating on top of the water and evaporating away. We thought Eben had got away with not catching them but lucky us 2.5 weeks later and he had them too. His were quite mild so knowing my luck he'll get them again! He did have one dodgy looking spot though that we had to get cream from the doctors for. We also decided it would be a good time to renovate, so the builders have been in and have knocked through the wall dividing our living and dining room. We have also been toilet training, which has been quite successful ( I'll write a separate post on his we've done it) and Ebens cut his first tooth ( my nipples definitely know it!). Then just to make the month even more eventful Reubie ended up in hospital after his breathing became very laboured. He had a cough for a couple of weeks more or less since the chicken pox, we thought he might have had some in his throat. It seemed to turn into a sort of habit so we thought he would stop eventually if we didn't pay it much attention. Then suddenly one night he didn't sleep well and in the morning woke up finding it difficult to breathe. His stomach and chest were going in and out really quite far and fast when he was breathing. So we took him to the out of hours service in the hospital ( of course this happened on a Saturday when no GP surgeries are open!) Our local hospital is very small and under staffed and underfunded so there we're just three nurses there and no doctors. They gave him oxygen and monitored the oxygen levels in his blood as well as his heart rate.  At the time his oxygen levels were at 90 when they should have been at least 96 ( I think this is a percentage?!) and his heart rate was high as well. They basically said that we'd have to go to the next nearest hospital and that it would be quicker for us to drive than for them to arrange an ambulance. Although they then said that if his breathing got worse that we should stop the car immediately and call an ambulance. So as you can imagine that was a scary 20 minute drive! Reubie did seem better in him self during the journey to the hospital but he was still using his stomach to help him breathe. Reubie was assessed again and they listened to his chest and said they could head a wheeze. His oxygen levels had improved a bit but they said they like to monitor him to see what was going on. We were told in was probably and infection, which is quite common for children to get, although I don't know anyone who this has happened to! They also said that a third of children who suffer with this infection that causes a wheeze and low oxygen levels go on to have asthma. Seeing as eczema and asthma often go hand in hand and it runs in our families I'm guessing Reubie probably will go on to have asthma. Basically it seems he had the same treatment as a child who has had an asthma attack would have. He was given an inhaler and he had to have 10 puffs from it 3 times in one hour to see if there was any improvement. It improved a bit so they said we could try 10 puffs every 2  hours. Then after an hour and he was also given some steroid tablets, which were crushed into a yoghurt! Yuck! There was a definite improvement but the doctors could still hear a wheeze and his breathing was still laboured. For us to be able to go home we needed for him to be able to last 4 hours between needing his inhaler. So we then realised he would have to be in over night. They also suspected that his oxygen levels would go down once he fell asleep so it would be best for him to be in hospital. My husband stayed in with him as I'd need to feed Eben through the night. As the doctors suspected his levels did drop back down to 90 % so he had to have an oxygen mask on for the night. Poor Reubie and hubby didn't get much sleep as it was very noisy. We were worried this would mean he may end up in for another night but they started the 2 hourly inhaler puffs at 8 and when a doctor finally did the rounds we were told he would be fine to go home. Reubie was given another dose of steroids and another dose to take home and have the following day as well as a wheeze plan to ease off the inhaler slowly. It's been a week and a half now and he still has a bit of a cough but luckily it hasn't happened again!