Sleep !

So I haven't blogged for a long time! That's motherhood for you! For about 6 months I have been some how surviving with little or no sleep! By little or no sleep I mean from 6 months Eben went from waking 1-2 times in the night for a breastfeed to sometimes every hour and no longer than 3 hours! It only really effected me as although we coslept it was because we coslept that I was able to comfort him straight away so he didn't cry and wake everyone else up ( Reuben also cosleeps with us!). I've put the waking so often down to teething as it coincided with his first tooth coming through, which is another reason why I didn't want to take him out of our bed as I wanted to be close to him so I could comfort him.  In the last week we have managed to turn the sleep situation around! I sort of knew the only way I was going to get Eben to sleep longer was to put him in his cot, in the back of my mind I thought I'm going to have to try the cry it out method (although as gently as I can). This thought has been running through my mind for about 4 months now but I haven't felt like Eben or myself have been ready. We did try putting him in his cot and lying with him until he fell asleep but he seemed to only sleep for about a maximum of an hour and a half and quite often I'd be so tired I'd fall asleep with him rather than sneaking out, which kind of defeated the object and meant I got a bad back! Eben turned 1 just over a week ago so we decided to take the plunge and try the cry it out technique. There are many interpretations of the cry it out method, what follows is what we felt comfortable with and what seems to have worked for us.

Night 1

We went upstairs into our bedroom and got him into his pyjamas and then he nursed for about 20 minutes, I used to always nurse him lying down then I could sneak off once he was asleep so we thought it was important to change this. Then I took him into his and Reuben's bedroom, which has a dim night light in and I sang 'hush little baby' and then lay him in his cot. He screamed straight away! I had expected it so I was prepared. I waited 5 minutes before I went into comfort him and I didn't take him out of his cot, I did two more 5 minute intervals and I noticed he seemed to cry more when I went in. So we waited 10 minutes, then of course he pooed so we had to start the whole process again! We noticed that his cries weren't a sad cry but more of an angry frustrated cry and about half an hour after the poo his cries eased off. They were more like little shouts every minute or so until he was finally asleep. Then of course I thought I'd have a little peek at him and he woke! Luckily he just did 2 little cries and fell back to sleep. He woke about an hour and a half later but he didn't cry just whinged for about 15 minutes, I didn't go in to him as it wasn't a cry and he wasn't upset and he fell back to sleep by himself after 15 minutes. Throughout the night I heard him wake about 4 times but again he just whinged and didn't cry, he got back to sleep within 10 minutes on each occasion. I felt like this was a mini success as although I didn't get any more sleep than usual I was in my bed and Eben had managed to get himself back to sleep. I also was surprised to find my boobs weren't totally engorged! Which I guess means that all those times Eben was feeding at night weren't really feeds but just for comfort. Eben woke at 6.20am he was only whinging and would probably have gone back to sleep but we have to get up for nursery and work at 7am so I got him and bought him into bed for a feed.

  

Night 2

We did the same as the previous night a 20 minute feed, then into his room, sang our song once and lay him in his cot. He screamed straight away again as he had the previous night but only for 10 minutes and he was asleep!! An hour later there was a one off whinge but I think it was in his sleep. Again I heard him whinge about 4 times through the night but no proper crying and mostly just singular cries so I think they were in  his sleep. He woke at 6.30am so I bought him into our bed for a feed.

Night 3

We carried on our routine and he was asleep after 10 minutes of whinging. He was a bit more unsettled this evening and seemed to do a little whinge every hour for about 5 minutes. He had a 10 minute whinge at about 11pm just as I was falling asleep but then he slept until 7.20! no waking up during the night!!

Night 4

We carried on our routine and this time although he cried when I put him in his cot he stopped before I left the room! He whinged at about 10pm but then we had a 7 hour stint with no waking! He whinged at about 5am and then woke up properly at about 6.30am.

Night 5

This night we deviated from the routine slightly as my dad and sister were over for the weekend and we went out for dinner. So we did the routine but later than the usual 7pm, it was about 8pm. He settled quickly but we were back to the waking about 4 times whinging in the night, although as before they didn't last long.

Night 6

Back to our proper bedtime and routine but Eben had a danger nap at about 5pm! This meant he was very distracted during the breastfeed and he took a bit longer to settle. He woke a few times during the night but just whinges.

Night 7

We continued our routine and he settled quickly. He woke a couple of times whinging and at midnight he cried enough that hubby went in to comfort him. He managed to get him to settle back to sleep after 5 minutes and then he slept through until 7am.

So I guess what I've learnt is to be consistent and to trust yourself to know when you should or shouldn't go in to resettle as I definitely noticed Eben got more upset when I went in to comfort him. I can totally see why some people don't like the cry it out method, I don't like it myself but I think sometimes there comes a point where you can't go on surviving with so little sleep and it's important for a mother to be rested and have energy to play during the day and not be guzzling down coffee and gorging on chocolate for energy! I think if Eben had properly cried I may not have been able to do it, we had decided to try for a week and if it didn't work go back to cosleeping and then try again in a few months time. We will definitely continue with what we are doing, I must admit I do miss having him sleep next to me but I am liking this increased amount of sleep and I'm looking forward to more of it!

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